The definition is clear, your spouse’s parents are your in-laws. How you actually address them? Not so clear. Whatever everyone’s comfortable with, you might hear. Given the ever changing tide of social etiquette these days, I would agree. What if, however, not all said parties are comfortable with the same thing? This topic has been getting table time discussion with couples we know. After making it from preschool thru high school graduation, we have entered a new parenting phase. The serious girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance and newlywed stage. Welcome to the world of parenting young adults. I didn’t realize what an emotional issue this could be. Feelings are all over the place:
- “Why doesn’t my daughter-in-law want to call me Mom?”
- “Why do they want my son to call her mother Mom? I’m his mother.”
- “My husband didn’t call my mother mom until his own mother passed.”
- “We always called our in-laws Mom and Dad.”
Continue reading Who’s Your Daddy?
It was December 2012. My teens were watching TV in our family room. I breezed thru long enough to hear, “How could anyone not know about the Twilight Phenomenon? They must be living with their head in the sand for last 5 years!” I take two steps back. Wait..what? I have no clue what this movie actor is talking about. Is this an astronomical event? I could ask my kids. Thinking better of risking my credibility for future life experiences, I Google it. Apparently a series of books about vampires became insanely popular and movies were being made. Who knew? Apparently everyone but me. Continue reading The Twilight Years
Every so often a show comes along that gets your attention. Not the one that everyone is talking about. The one you didn’t even know existed. The one none of your friends have heard of once you start talking about it. “Lie To Me” is that show for us. It aired from 2009 – 2011. Our son had viewed a clip in his college psychology class. He told us about it and we are hooked.
The lead character, Cal, is skilled in reading micro-facial expressions of emotion. Absent to the untrained eye, these micro-changes determine if the person is being truthful. Now here’s a skill to have in the parenting arsenal! “Are you sure you didn’t eat that last Oreo? ” It is fascinating when the camera zooms in on these facial muscles and you see them twitch. Occasionally my husband and I will catch each other trying to get a read on the other. Yeah, it’s pretty funny. These observations by Cal and his team take the plot in completely different directions cracking every case. Murders solved, innocents redeemed and criminals caught. Not all that surprising for a drama show.
What did surprise me was the real life applications. I’m not advocating training yourself to read micro-facial expressions on unsuspecting friends and family. What I am suggesting is to consider the impact seemingly small changes in behavior could have on outcomes. This can be true in many areas of life. I can tell you where this is most obvious for me. In the health/fitness arena, one factor has had the biggest impact for me. Night time eating. From the time I finish eating dinner until the time I fall asleep is critical for me. I can easily undo an excellent nutritional day. The added calories can quickly knockout any calories burned exercising. It sets the tone for the next day. Sometimes it’s days for me to get back on track. Simply limiting myself to calorie free beverages after dinner is a small change with huge results. Losing weight or sticking to long term eating/exercise program can seem overwhelming. It is empowering to know I can make a small change and see progress. Continue reading Micro-changes